Before we headed up for the day we stopped at Emerald Fields and grabbed some fast acting gummies from Wana. Do you remember those peach ring gummies that you could get for $2 at the gas station? They tasted exactly like that. It was nostalgia on nostalgia. Nostalgiaception, if you will.

We both ate 3 or 4 gummies, got ready, and headed out. Personally, I'm partial to sunnier days for the zoo or hikes, well at least until this particular day. We went later in the afternoon since the zoo does deals for non-peak times, and while it wasn't a torrential downpour it was certainly raining. We battled on, got an umbrella, and went for it.

The edibles were already kicking in and we were having a blast. For the first hour or so we were inside with the animals taking cover from the rain. Have y'all ever seen a bull giraffe up close? Because I have now and let me tell you, even without being stoned they are enormous! My boyfriend had never fed giraffes before so of course we got some lettuce and giggled our baked butts off at the giraffe's huge tongues as they reached for that leafy treat.

As we zigged and zagged through the zoo, the rain started letting up more and more. We got to see the lionesses grooming each other in some sort of cleaning ouroboros, the meerkats were peeping their little heads out of their tunnels to see what the ruckus was, and the peacocks and peahens were grumpily standing around under any cover they could find to preserve their fine feathers.

While we were looking at the reptiles in their cool modern enclosures (if you haven't seen it yet, go soon as you can) the rain stopped completely, the sun came out and so did all the animals. They must have been feeling cooped up because as soon as that rain stopped they were out and eager to be seen.

For the first time in my many visits to the zoo I got to see the snow leopard clear as day. Spoiler: he's gorgeous! He must have been feeling lonely because we sat and looked at each other for around 10 minutes before I won our staring contest, no small feat with how high I was at that point. Then, as if he knew we were walking up, the tiger right next door to his snowy cousin came out playing in his pool, siting in front of the moon window grooming himself and chasing the birds that were either stupid enough or brave enough to land in his enclosure.

By this point we may as well have been the only people at the zoo. It was rare that we saw another group of people, and the animals seemed to sense how empty it was because even the Canadian Lynx, notoriously shy as they are, were out and relaxed, sunbathing and letting us see their little bobtails. They stared at us sleepily, completely unbothered by our presence and enjoying the quiet.

Other natives will know that the penguin and hippo house was the place that needed the biggest facelift of any other enclosure. While we didn't get to see the hippos that day, we did get to see the new penguin house. They have a beautiful outdoor pool and their inside enclosure is all windows with a breathtaking view of the city below. The hippos now have a huge outdoor pool and there is a fun little play area and a bridge to a little overlook, so on days the hippos are out you can walk up there and get

I planned a 12-mile out-and-back route the evening before, then woke up early on Saturday. After loading my pack with 3L of water, some Cheetos, beef jerky, trail mix (you know, all the healthy hiking snacks) and other day hike essentials, I got my dogs ready.

My Whippet gets off easy and only wears a harness, but my Australian Cattle Dog (both local rescue dogs, this is Colorado…) gets to wear a Mountain Smith carry harness loaded with 4L of water, dog food for breakfast and waste disposal bags. Lastly, before heading out the door, I rolled up a gram of some new product I got from one of my favorite shops, Emerald Fields.

It was an extraordinarily tricked out strain with pinkish red pistils I had not tried, called Lemmiwinks. Lemmiwinks joint in tow, I headed up to N. Cheyenne Canyon and started my hike around 7 am.

It was a typical July morning in Colorado: no clouds, lots of sun and lots of bikers. The morning went great; we trudged our way up High Drive to trail #667 and made it to our turnaround point just after 9:30 am. As usual, I found a flat area to take a break before heading back down. I ate my snacks, fed the dogs then proceeded to light the Lemmiwinks joint I brought.

Being that the State had issued a red flag warning, and the trail being “carry in carry out,” I always bring an empty spare water bottle with a little bit of water at the bottom, to use for an ashtray. The Lemmiwinks was fantastic and had a sweet, tasty smoke, so I sat and enjoyed the whole thing in one sitting. While this is normal for me, the strain was new, and I was unfamiliar with its potential high. It felt like a Sativa leaning Hybrid due to the “headband” like pressure and light body feeling I got upon standing up.

This is when the fun began! Trail #667 is easy to follow for much of the trail, with a few exceptions. There are three areas where the trail intersects other trails, and the intersections do not always have trail markings. By the time I got to the second intersection, I was pleasantly stoned and running low on water.

After what felt like a solid 5 minutes of racking my brain as to which hilly path looked more familiar and would take me back to High Drive, I could not decide. They both looked unfamiliar to me, now that I was high, and it did not help that there was no cell service up there for me to try and load a GPS app and see if I could find the right path.

That is when I had a moment of stoner clarity, and I gave my cattle dog Luna a command to “Find the truck.” This is an exercise I have practiced with her in large parking lots and local parks like Stratton open space so if she got off leash, she would hopefully just run back to my truck and wait for me. As soon as the command was out of my mouth, Luna took the left-hand route and started us down the trail.

About 30 minutes later, we arrived at the last intersection and I gave Luna the command again, and she took us down the center trail. We made it back to High Drive around 11 am with an empty camel pack for the last mile back to the truck, still happily stoned, a bit thirsty and sore, but safe.

The kicker (I checked after): both of the paths I was contemplating would have led me back to the parking lot. The route I did not take would have eventually brought me back via the Seven Bridges trail.